Posts tagged "Stop it Zooey Deschanel"

Hey Zooey Deschanel. Stop it. Just stop it, OK?
(via prettygeek)

Hey Zooey Deschanel. Stop it. Just stop it, OK?

(via prettygeek)


I went and saw (500) Days of Summer today.

I mean, I liked it; of course I did. Whatever else I am, I’m a 26 year old white boy who has a college degree but not a proper job, who has every single Death Cab album and who still gets shy when he’s around a girl he likes[1]. I wasn’t allowed to dislike this movie.

But oh god, this movie. It seduces boys like me with its indie romance and its leading man who could almost be you as you like to imagine yourself on your best and most self-satisfied days[2], and its Zooey Deschanel, and then it tears out your heart and your hopes and stomps on them.

I said two months ago that shit with this movie sounded too real, and I was sort of right. It didn’t dig up old… things… the way I thought it would, but oh, it bummed me out. See, it’s all about narratives. Those narratives you[3] write for yourself about how you meet that girl and how she’s perfect for you, and, yes, maybe there are other guys who like her, but you’re the right one. And even though you don’t believe in fate or things that were meant to be, you figure that what you’re feeling must be real, because you are really feeling it.

And this movie shows you how stupid that feeling is, because, no actually, she’s a real person too, and she has a different narrative and different things that were meant to be, and they don’t involve you. They involve other people, maybe ones that she hasn’t even met yet. And so this wonderful story you’ve cooked up only ever existed in your head[4], and she’s cooked up some other story. Which means that worse than you being wrong about your story; it means your story was never unique or important; it never meant anything. Because anyone can have a crush, anyone can believe something that isn’t true.

So you like this girl and maybe you have some good times, and maybe all kinds of things happen. But your story is wrong and hers is right, and so it doesn’t work out. But you know how right your story feels, so you can’t let it go, except now — because (500) Days of Summer told you so — you can’t even pretend your story is right and she just hasn’t realized it. This movie looks hope square in the eye, lines it up in its sight, and pulls the trigger.

And, as some miserable…

sorry. SPOILER…

Then, as some miserable consolation, it offers you the chance that maybe you’ll find someone else to start the whole stupid thing again with. But this someone else won’t be as hot as Zooey Deschanel. And she won’t be the person you’ve spent 500 days obsessing over (or 90 minutes, depending on whether you’re the character or the audience). And so, what? All that time was a waste, all your feelings and certainties actually were wrong. No, you weren’t meant to be with her, neither in a cosmic sense, nor in an actual this-is-what-would-be-good-for-you sense, because now you’ve got this other person who proved those 500 days/90 minutes to be completely irrelevant. And that’s meant to make you happy?

I liked this movie. I already told you I didn’t have a choice about that. But oh god was it brutal.

—-

[1] They call us “hipsters” or something?

[2] You know, not classically handsome, but maybe a little bit cute?

[3] Bad writers have this thing where they say “you” when actually they mean “I.”

[4] This is sort of why religion is bullshit too.


(500) Days of Summer: Bank Dance

This is pretty neat though.


Instead they project a kind of generic individuality, with shared tastes that ensure a measure of compatibility — they both like the Smiths! — and divergent quirks to provide some interesting friction. (Her favorite Beatle is Ringo!)

(From Flavorwire, h/t Trey Kerby)
Zooey Deschanel, what have we said about stopping that?

(From Flavorwire, h/t Trey Kerby)

Zooey Deschanel, what have we said about stopping that?


She and Him – In the Sun
I was out the other night, and this great song came on. So I used my iPhone to figure out who the band was; downloaded their album right there. And the best part was, my iPhone told me when they were coming to town. So all I had to do was buy the tickets! I still don’t know how my iPhone does all that.[2]
Jukebox says [4.22]

She and Him – In the Sun

I was out the other night, and this great song came on. So I used my iPhone to figure out who the band was; downloaded their album right there. And the best part was, my iPhone told me when they were coming to town. So all I had to do was buy the tickets! I still don’t know how my iPhone does all that.
[2]

Jukebox says [4.22]


I feel compelled to post Ian Mathers' blurb as well:

She and Him – In the Sun

Who on earth does this appeal to? Let me rephrase that: who on earth does this appeal to who doesn’t already have a few dozen better examples of the form, ones that that aren’t weirdly mannered and teeth-grindingly ‘cute’? Extra points off for the truly awful video: if you’re telling me I have to choose between M. Ward’s glowering goatee or the happy-clappy mugging of the Zooey Deschanel Dancers, I’m going to Heathers the fucking school.
[1]


Extra demerits for the cutesy ad-libs on the chorus, which sound like Young Jeezy re-imagined as a My Little Pony.

Me, or as aceterrier says:

The other JB on “Fembots,” to which I can only say:

HOW IS THIS NOT A GOOD THING.

Yeah, there’s a pleasing incongruity to the literal image of MLP-fied Jeezy, but this is really a discussion about how cuteness does and doesn’t work in music. Around the time we were reviewing this song on the Jukebox, Lex tweeted, “i really dislike robyn. as a pop star, as a vocalist. she conveys no emotion except being smugly pleased w/herself and tee-hee-aren’t-i-cute.”

To which I responded, “.@lexpretend “Fembot” is awful, but re: “Be Mine”: is it impossible for cuteness to be something music can express well?” Because “Be Mine!” is a fantastic Robyn song, and part of the reason it works is the lost-little-girl misery of the middle eight. I don’t see that cuteness as something smug, but something integral to the appeal of the song.

Lex replied, “@saturdayclub cute can mean various things, some good some bad, but being overly twee is an offence punishable by death.” And here we’re starting to get at something. I’m pretty sure Lex hates anything even remotely twee, but I think twee can and often is a great thing in music. (Tweeness and cuteness are closely related but not identical.)

I am with Lex on “Fembot,” which has a coyness I find horribly self-serving, and, yes, smug. The worst instant is at 1:49, when, after the blank chant “Fembots have feelings too,” Robyn inserts a buoyant “Ya know?”, in the exact tone of a quip-spouting TV toddler. There’s no reason for it; it’s the teeth-gratingly inane culmination of the all the other teeth-gratingly inane conceits in the tune. A real Stop it, Zooey Deschanel moment, perhaps, or the Manic Pixie Dream Girl come to life as a pop singer (“an ideal … whose beauty, sweetness and gentle, studied eccentricity renders [her] entirely docile”).

This would all be very easy to reconcile if, like Lex I simply put a fatwa on twee. But I don’t. And there’s the problem. For instance, I adore the too-twee-to-function video for Architecture in Helsinki’s “Like a Call”, as well as Sarah Records, and I’m sure a whole lot of other self-consciously cute art. I even somtimes might be prepared to mount a defense of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and I definitely love Garden State. So why does all that work for me and Robyn’s attempts at cute in “Fembots” fail so egregiously? Is it a case of Robyn pandering to me badly? In which case, where is it that the pandering goes wrong?

And so when tomewing comments on the Jukebox response to “Fembots”…

The hate on this from the haters feels as rote as the love from lovers to be honest: this is a not-specially-special single but it’s not a war crime. There’s something pre-emptive about some of the comments here, a getting the retaliation in first.

…I’m not sure he’s right. I’m very happy with the [1] I gave the track. But was my [1] a pre-emptive strike not against Robyn, but against the Wrong Kind of Cute? And if so, what distinguishes the Wrong Kind of Cute from good cute?


ZOOEY'S MISCELLANY: POLITE SUGGESTIONS WITH ZOOEY D. #1

This is the greatest thing that’s ever happened on television.



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