After the round we hit the 19th hole. Once again there was no beer, just lemonade. In fact there were NO alcoholic beverages at all. I thought to myself, “what did the Mormons buy this place too?” It was at that point that I heard the reason. Burning Tree is a “men’s club” exclusively. There are no women’s tees. In fact, women aren’t even allowed on the grounds. I’m not kidding. There’s a men’s locker room, no women’s. There are NO women’s bathrooms. If a woman were to wonder onto the course or into the pro shop, she’d be escorted away.

How does that tie into the missing alcohol? As it turns out the state of Maryland has been trying to get BT to change their policy … Maryland yanked Burning Tree’s liquor license and that’s way they only serve lemonade. They’d rather just drink lemonade than allow women.

Tony Korologos, “Burning Tree Club" The Golf Space, May 8, 2006

I’ve always thought I’m doomed to remain outside the halls of power because I’ve never played golf — and we all know no one makes any important deal anywhere but a golf course. I’ve sometimes thought I should try golfing just in case I’m ever important, but… y’know what they say about a good walk ruined.

Anyways, if I had a club, I wouldn’t use it play golf. But just say I did. And just say the state in which this club was based told me I couldn’t have a beer at my club unless I let some girls join my club.

Like… um… wouldn’t the obvious thing be for me to say to the state, Can’t I have the girls and the beer?

(And y’all I don’t mean “girls” in no “I’m gon’ get me some” kinda way; I mean that it’s even fun being around girls whom I don’t want to sleep with!)

Anyways, apparently the club chose the no-girls-and-no-beer option. Which really seems like a case of poor decision-making that does not reflect well on caliber of the gentlemen involved.

By the way, one of the gentlemen involved is U.S. House Speaker John Boehner. The residents of the district he represents include women, so I think it’s kind of bizarre that he’d tell half his constituents that he wouldn’t be in a club with them. Like, bizarre even beyond the choosing poorly in the beer-and-girls or no-beer-and-no-girls stakes.

Boehner’s membership isn’t news, but then again, it’s still extant. So. WTF is with that.