100 things that are better than Paul Ryan

  1. Joe Biden
  2. Barack Obama
  3. Medicare
  4. Rap music
  5. Fluttershy
  6. Snow
  7. A beer
  8. New sneakers
  9. "Call Me Maybe"
  10. Girls
  11. Boys
  12. The band Girls
  13. The TV show Girls
  14. "Gangnam Style"
  15. Many listicles
  16. The seventh inning stretch
  17. Mean Girls
  18. Manic Pixie Dream Girls
  19. Hugs
  20. Storms
  21. A really humorous Facebook update
  22. Jokes about your mom
  23. Your mom
  24. The ending of Sopranos
  25. Texts From Hillary
  26. That really deep discussion you had with your college roommate at 3am that one time when you were both totally stoned.
  27. Wheeler from Captain Planet
  28. The outro of Mclusky’s “She Will Only Bring You Happiness”
  29. Skinny jeans
  30. Milkshakes
  31. Arriving at the station and your train comes as soon as you get there
  32. A moderately funny Internet macro image
  33. Most things Jesse Pinkman says on Breaking Bad
  34. Jon Stewart pretending to be Glenn Beck
  35. Glenn Beck
  36. Finding a new blog that seems pretty cool
  37. Fried chicken
  38. Ass
  39. Taking an uncomfortable pair of shoes off
  40. Ice-skating
  41. Half-watching Olympic gymnastics even though you don’t normally care about gymnastics
  42. Glitter
  43. Dinosaurs
  44. Giving a birthday present
  45. Getting a birthday present
  46. R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet”
  47. When cats knead something with their paws
  48. Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises
  49. When someone cool reblogs your post
  50. When that other team’s quarterback gets sacked
  51. Elizabeth Warren
  52. Ayn Rand’s School For Tots
  53. The Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
  54. Thanksgiving, 2pm
  55. Smiling at a New Yorker cartoon
  56. Vermont
  57. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
  58. Learning a new piece of slang
  59. Karaoke
  60. Scratching yourself
  61. Tater-tots
  62. Clean laundry
  63. Some babies
  64. Pastels
  65. Auto-Tune
  66. Coloring-in
  67. Universal health care
  68. Quoting Macbeth when you’re drunk
  69. Solving a Freecell game
  70. A three day weekend
  71. A Maserati
  72. Going to IKEA for the first time
  73. Going to IKEA for the second time
  74. Many Disney Channel kid-coms
  75. A banjo
  76. Unexpectedly discovering you have things in common with another person
  77. Finding a No DJ version of a mixtape
  78. Swearing
  79. Holding hands
  80. The milk carton in Blur’s “Coffee and TV” video
  81. The last page of The Great Gatsby
  82. Sundresses
  83. Lego
  84. The Flatiron building
  85. The Hunger Games
  86. A nice cup of tea
  87. The moment when the bass drops in a trance song
  88. Giving your business card to someone
  89. The government spending money on things Paul Ryan doesn’t want it to spend money on, like infrastructure or the FDA
  90. When Joey said something stupid on Friends
  91. On your tenth birthday when you could finally write your age in double digits
  92. A pen that writes nicely
  93. A well-fitting suit
  94. Leaving work early
  95. Sleep
  96. Bacon
  97. Going to an art gallery and unexpectedly spending all afternoon there
  98. Ten Things I Hate About  You
  99. That day at school when your teacher decided we should have class outside
  100. Taylor Swift