How to be a hack political writer

  1. Think up something extraordinarily unlikely.
  2. Imagine how this extraordinarily unlikely event could vaguely benefit someone somewhere.
  3. Pick a politician and insist not only that they should adopt your extraordinarily unlikely plan, but also that its adoption is inevitable.
  4. PROFIT.
  5. (Feel free to throw in buzzwords.)

For example:

With Ben Bernanke continuing to frustrate the left and the right, it’s clear that the Obama team needs a circuit-breaker. Nominating LeBron James to head the Federal Reserve could be exactly the game changer required for the President to win re-election. While it’s true that James has no experience in economics, he does play for the Miami Heat, a basketball team based in the swing state of Florida. Don’t think that Obama hasn’t thought of this, either. As an avid sports fan, Obama understands exactly how powerful such a bold move would be.