Some snarky things I need to say about Sydney’s new food trucks deal.

Look, I’m pleased it’s happening too. But when it comes to food and gimmicky ideas, Sydneysiders can’t help but dumb out, and they’ve greeted this news with all kinds of dumbness.

• “Stop dreaming about those LA taco trucks…” says TimeOut. Sydney is “following” “trendy and affluent Santa Monica” says StreetCorner. The City of Sydney compares the outlets to “the food trucks found in New York City, Los Angeles, Bangkok and London.” GUYS. LOADS OF CITIES HAVE FOOD TRUCKS. STOP ACTING LIKE SYDNEY IS DOING SOMETHING FANCY ON THE SCALE OF LA AND NYC. THEY HAVE THOSE SHITS IN PORTLAND AND SEATTLE AND DC AND A TON OF OTHER PLACES. IT’S FOOD FROM A VAN. IT’S NOT A BADGE OF COSMOPOLITAN CHIC. 
• Not only is the conversation massively idiotic, so too is the execution:

More than 30 hopeful operators lodged applications when the City sought expressions of interest last year, following extensive consultation on the city’s night-time economy.

The hopefuls went through a rigorous testing process that included looking at their business plans and background, and compliance with health and waste management codes.

The last step was a taste test, where contenders had an hour to cook meals from their proposed truck menu and were judged on the taste, their overall concept and their complete menu.The operators can now fit out their trucks, which will start to hit the streets in coming weeks.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Thirty operators wanted to run these trucks, and the city is only licensing TEN OF THEM to do so? I’m down with requiring them to comply with health and waste management standards, but imposing a taste test? Does the Sydney public really need government regulation to protect it from lousy tasting street food? Can’t we just, you know, NOT BUY IT?

Guys, street food isn’t meant to be fancy. Go to Tetsuya’s if you want something gourmet, and let food trucks do their job of serving up hot dogs and bullshit. Don’t create a privileged cartel of ten operators and hand over the license to a former Tetsuya’s sous chef to satisfy the wanky predilections of Sydney foodies. 

And one last thing. Sydney, do you know why L.A. has Mexican food trucks? It’s because L.A. has lots of Mexicans! There’s nothing about food trucks that makes them intrinsically suited to serving Mexican food. Enough of this cargo cult mentality.